12/29/2023 0 Comments Email bdsm checklist![]() ![]() I like it when you stroke my hair, kiss my forehead, ….I want you to touch me in intimate but non-sexual ways.I want our play to be fun but let’s keep our distance.I want pain that is predictable and manageable.Hurt me until I cry / scream / beg for mercy.I do / don’t want to know what’s coming next.I sometimes get triggered by… You can recognize it by… When it happens, I need….When play gets intense, I can become non-verbal. ![]() I want to not have to be in control for a while.I want to feel beautiful / exposed / vulnerable / safe / competent / in control / loved / sexy / desired / powerful / afraid / overwhelmed / ….I need you to be always confident and in control.I like it when you call me slut and whore, but don’t call me bitch or cunt.I want you to be loving / rough / gentle / angry / mocking / strict / demanding with me.I’m secretly auditioning you as a play partner / lover.I’m looking for an occasional / ongoing play partner.It’s important to me that you do what you want without worrying about what I like.Fundamentally, I want you to do what I want.This scene will be a success for me if….I want to learn / practice a new skill.I want to do something once, to say I’ve done it.I want to try something new to see if I like it.And, obviously, feel free to add / modify sentences as you see fit. Rather than giving your partner a filled-in version of this list, consider giving them a short list of the sentences that most resonated for you. Rather, look at this as a collection of ideas that may be useful to you in understanding yourself, or that you may want your partner to know about you. This isn’t meant to be a checklist: don’t go down the page putting 1s and 4s and NOs next to each line, or circling things in red and green ink. Hopefully you’ll find it to be of some use. ![]() It’s primarily meant for bottoms, and is doubtless more than a little idiosyncratic. Here’s a first stab at creating the tool that I’ve been looking for but haven’t found. What I really want is not so much a list of activities, but rather a peek inside their head: what makes them tick, and what would it take to make them tock? I’ve found, though, that this sheet doesn’t really meet my needs when I’m negotiating with a new partner, especially someone who’s fairly new to kink. I’m a big fan of the fantastic one page negotiation checklist created by It’s succinct, well-organized, and does a great job of summarizing what you actually need to know during casual pick-up play. ![]()
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